Look at that first line. Everyone else in my family loved it. I wonder why?

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Look at that first line. Everyone else in my family loved it. I wonder why?

Post  takaratommy on Wed Aug 18, 2010 5:30 pm

I wrote this a whiiiiiiiiiiiiiile back, like fourth grade(the second time) i think, sooooo my writing was different back then. More serious. And please, for goodness sakes, don't correct grammar. I'll do that on my own.

She stepped gingerly onto the stationary black square. Just like they said, it didn't move, but she was never too sure about that. Angela had never experienced being pushed and shoved in the usual rush of a city. But this was because she lived in the 22nd century. Angela Islands was a regular working student on her way to the large university in the city of Celestia. But what happens to her is rather irregular.

Finally she was across the street and halfway to school. Then she thought, "If I don't hurry, of course I'll be late! Then I'll be the laughingstock of the whole class!" She then started to run very fast on the conveyor belt and bumping into people.

Meanwhile, they were watching the whole of Celestia through the eyes of the Chosen. They watched Angela with their very careful and accurate gaze. The most powerful of them decided to tell the Head. She said, "Someone is destroying our peace and harmony in Celestia. What shall we do about her?" The Head replied, "Let one of the Chosen meet her and talk to her." The Chosen can change into whoever they want. So this particular Chosen changed into Angela's best friend, Samantha. Fortunately, the real one was sick at home, but no one knew that. So during lunch and recess, "Samantha" asked so many questions that Angela almost thought her friend had amnesia.

Angela was a good employee, she had high grades, and she was also a good citizen until a few hours ago. At home she had no problems as long as she was awake. She was used to having nightmares but never like these. Recently, she dreamed that she was in Celestia, but it seemed more hostile. The skies and waters were red and the buildings were as dark as the far side of the moon. Then a deep, booming voice said, "Welcome to Mercuria! It was built on the site of the ancient star city, Celestia. Celestia was supposedly flattened in an 'accident'. Angela, only you can stop it from being like a pancake. Good luck!" Horrified, Angela went to the kitchen to get a glass of milk. When she opened the fridge, she saw a stack of pancakes that said,"Welcome to Celestia!" on top in syrup. Some new citizens were coming, and these were going to be a cake but in her horrified state, she thought it was a warning but somehow she also knew it was true.

The next morning, Samantha decided to call Angela about any homework. Angela merely said, "You should have copied it yesterday!" Samantha replied, "But I was absent yesterday." Angela thought about telling her, but instead she gasped as she realized that what Samantha said was true. As I failed to mention earlier, everyone knew about the Chosen and what they could do but they can't tell which is the impostor.
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